Write It Poetry
Critic's Picks: POETRY

I wrote this poem while at the Young Writers at Kenyon summer program. Other high school writers gave me advice. Often I ask my mom, who is a writer, to read and comment on my poems. She's more willing to criticize because she isn't so afraid of offending me. It's important to have an outsider's perspective, I think, to see what other people get from your poem. Also, they might hate a certain line you thought was OK, or love a line you weren't so sure about. It's kind of fascinating.

Editor's Comments:
Delia chooses some perfect verbs in this poem: clouds, urges, lifted, presses, blink, inching. The description of the action, the verb choice, and the simile of the steam "like the breath of a boy on a winter window" give this poem a unique voice. Delia describes a moment that many of us have had - falling asleep in a car - but she does it with originality.


By Delia Springstubb
age: 17

The steam from the mug on the dashboard
clouds glass like the breath of a boy on a winter window.
The rhythm of rain upon windshield
urges sleep
and the low pulse of the voice from 5 o'clock radio
is present in half-dreams of open-road.
Hair earlier lifted and brought to life by wind,
presses against glass.
Car lights blink on lazily,
an evening afterthought.
The sideways slant of streaming rain
is yellow in the haze of headlights
inching uphill.

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