Write It Poetry
Critic's Picks: POETRY

I wrote this poem while at the Young Writers at Kenyon summer program. Other high school writers gave me advice. Often I ask my mom, who is a writer, to read and comment on my poems. She's more willing to criticize because she isn't so afraid of offending me. It's important to have an outsider's perspective, I think, to see what other people get from your poem. Also, they might hate a certain line you thought was OK, or love a line you weren't so sure about. It's kind of fascinating.

Editor's Comments:
Olivia succeeds in describing a time and place vividly in "Childhood." She uses a child's imagination to describe her games and memories. She also describes the beauty of her relationship with her sister without being overly sentimental. In fact, her images are perfectly sweet and subtle.


By Olivia Murphy
age: 14

Highlands park,
our place of childhood.
sliding down a dirty hill,
blues clues band-aid,
purple jelly shoes,
and a pink bathing suit,
with ruffles on the waist.
Brown wild hair on shoulders,
clutching little sister's hand,
I show her the best place,
to eat her sandwich,
we got at B.L.S,
and dry off from the river.
Mom sits on a towel,
watchful eyes,
over a new mystery novel.
Two little girls,
First we're mermaids,
then we're pirates,
no end to our ideas.
In a little town's river,
we rode our dolphins,
and escaped from endless heat.
"Five minuets left!"
We duck under,
pretending not to hear,
lingering in the cool water.
Back up the slippy sliddy hill,
now sister has a band-aid too.
I lost mine in the water.
Racing on the dirt path,
away from Highlands park,
our place of childhood.

Poetry    Essay    Memoir
Short Fiction    Humor
Print Version Email a Friend