Elvis Saves Bigfoot
By Erin G.
On Friday, September 30, 2006, eyewitnesses saw a man, looking remarkably like Elvis Presley, walking out of the Suds-a-Swirl. At that same moment, Bigfoot and his interpreter were said to be coming out of the Bumper Car Slumper right across the street.
Witnesses were shocked when Bigfoot carelessly stepped out in front of a semi going full speed. Apparently, at the sight of Bigfoot almost being flattened, Elvis came running across the street screaming, “FOOL! FOOL! FOOL!” at the top of his lungs. He pushed Bigfoot out of the way and they tumbled to the sidewalk. Other than a couple of scrapes and bruises both Bigfoot and Elvis were fine.
When the police finally made their arrival, Bigfoot was still unable to make a statement. Elvis shook his head in pity and said, “He is all shook up mm mm oh, oh, yeah, yeah!”
The police, unable to believe that they were standing in front of both Elvis and Bigfoot, wouldn’t stop talking about how unbelievable they both were. At this point, Elvis groaned, held up his hand to make them stop and said, “A little less conversation, a little more action please. All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me.”
Bigfoot, hearing this, grunted and howled. His interpreter claims he was rather upset that Elvis would have the nerve to say that he wasn’t satisfied, for he was the one who almost died, not Elvis. He also claimed that he would whoop Elvis’s butt if he said anything like that again.
Elvis was shocked at that statement and pointed an accusing finger at Bigfoot and yelled, “You're the devil in disguise, oh yes you are, the devil in disguise. And just so you know, I don’t care what you’re going to do. You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes.”
With that, Bigfoot and his interpreter stomped away. Fans of Elvis gathered around as the police started to leave. They congratulated him for saving Bigfoot and it is said that just before he pushed his way through the crowd and disappeared that ''Thank you, thank you very much'' was heard throughout the crowd.