A Fractured Tale: Revenge of the Gingerbread
By: Josh G.
Virginia, Age 12
Once upon a time, there was a little old woman and a little old man who lived near a cozy, little village.
It was the little old manĂs birthday. ˘Now what shall I make him for his birthday?÷ thought the old woman. And then a brilliant idea popped into her head. ˘I will make him a gingerbread man!÷
So she began to make the gingerbread man.
She cut the dough to make the gingerbread manĂs body. Then she added arms, and then legs. She used raisins for the eyes, frosting for the mouth, and three gumdrops for buttons.
After she had done this she popped him in the oven to bake. When he was ready she opened the oven door and out jumped the gingerbread man, and he started to run toward the door.
˘Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You canĂt catch me IĂm the gingerbread man!÷
˘Wait,÷ said the old woman, ˘you canĂt leave. YouĂre my husbandĂs birthday snack!÷
And she started chasing after him. Out the door and through the field ran the gingerbread man with the old woman following close behind.
The gingerbread man passed by the little old man who was working in the field. ˘Wait!÷ said the old man. ˘I have been working all day long and I could use a midday snack.÷
˘Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You canĂt catch me IĂm the gingerbread man!÷
And so the little old man joined the chase. Into the village ran the gingerbread man with the little old woman and the little old man close behind.
Then the gingerbread man passed a butcher. ˘Wait!÷ said the butcher. ˘ItĂs so hot in the kitchen and I havenĂt had breakfast or lunch. I want to eat you.÷
˘Run, run, run as fast as you can. You canĂt catch me IĂm the gingerbread man! IĂve outrun an old woman and a little old man! Now IĂll outrun you! I can, I can!÷
And close behind came the old woman and the little old man. So the butcher joined the pursuit. Down a side street and over a brick wall went the gingerbread man with the old woman, the little old man, and the butcher close behind.
Next the gingerbread man accidentally ran into a tortoise. The tortoise jumped up from where he had fallen and said to the gingerbread man, ˘I am in the middle of a race with a pompous hare and I am very tired and hungry. May I please eat you?÷ And then over a hill came the hare and he tripped over the tortoise and they both went sprawling.
˘Oh, look,÷ said the hare, ˘a nice little snack.÷
But the gingerbread man did not want to be eaten.
So he said, ˘Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You canĂt catch me IĂm the gingerbread man! IĂve outrun an old woman and a little old man! IĂve outrun a butcher with a frying pan! Now IĂll outrun you! I can, I can!÷
And close behind came the old woman, the little old man, and the butcher waving his frying pan. So the tortoise and the hare started chasing the gingerbread man too. And the gingerbread man ran, and ran, and ran.
And then suddenly he found himself in front of a brick house with a wolf outside and three little pigs looking out of a closed window at him. And for some reason the wolf was out of breath and he looked unhappy. He might have been hungry.
But the wolf had heard the gingerbread man run up and so had the pigs. And they all looked at him.
˘Hello there, Mr. Gingerbread Man. What is a delectable morsel like you doing out here in the woods?÷ asked the wolf.
˘DonĂt get near him!÷ urged the pigs. ˘If he eats you then what will we eat?÷
But the gingerbread man wasnĂt in the mood to be eaten.
So he said, ˘Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You canĂt catch me IĂm the gingerbread man! IĂve outrun an old woman and a little old man! IĂve outrun the butcher with a frying pan! IĂve outrun a tortoise, and outrun a hare! So chase me, chase me, if you dare!÷
And out of the woods came the old woman, the little old man, the butcher, the tortoise, and the hare and they were all still chasing him. And when the gingerbread man started to run away again, the wolf and the three pigs followed him.
And the gingerbread man kept running through the woods and came upon a stream, but he had no way to get across.
Along came a sly fox and he asked the gingerbread man, ˘Are you headed across the stream? If you are, I could carry you across on my back.÷
The gingerbread man was suspicious though, and he asked the fox, ˘DonĂt you want to eat me? Everybody loves to eat gingerbread men.÷
˘No,÷ lied the fox, ÷I just ate supper and IĂm not hungry.÷
So the gingerbread man jumped on the foxĂs back and the fox started to swim across.
As they were swimming, the gingerbread manĂs pursuers came to the stream bank. And since they had no way to get across either they sat and watched the fox and gingerbread man cross.
As the fox got farther out into the stream the water got deeper. ˘You should climb up on my shoulders so that you donĂt get wet,÷ said the fox.
˘Why should I believe that you wonĂt eat me?÷ asked the gingerbread man.
˘I already told you that I wasnĂt hungry. If you donĂt want to believe me, stay on my back and get wet.÷
This caused the gingerbread man to think. ˘Should I take the risk?÷ thought the gingerbread man. But then he thought, ˘Well, if I donĂt then IĂll get soggy.÷ So the gingerbread man climbed up onto the foxĂs shoulders.
Farther into the stream the fox said, ÷ItĂs getting deeper here. If you donĂt want to get wet then get onto my head.÷
Now this made the gingerbread man even more suspicious. ˘How do I know you wonĂt just flick me into the air and gobble me up when I fall?÷ he asked.
˘Do I have to tell you again? I already ate and IĂm not hungry,÷ fibbed the fox.
Considering the consequences of what would happen if he didnĂt get on the foxĂs head, he decided to hop on.
When the fox was almost to the opposite side the gingerbread saw the gleam in the foxĂs eye.
˘I knew it!÷ the gingerbread man thought, ˘He does want to eat me!÷ And just as the gingerbread man jumped off, the fox flicked his head up in the air and had the gingerbread man still been on his head, he would have been eaten.
˘Ha, ha!÷ laughed the gingerbread man. ˘I knew you wanted to eat me!÷ And the gingerbread man swam to the bank of the stream.
As he was getting out of the water, so was the fox.
˘Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You canĂt catch me IĂm the gingerbread man! IĂve outrun an old woman and a little old man! IĂve outrun the butcher with a frying pan! IĂve outrun a tortoise, and outrun a hare! IĂve outrun three pigs, and a wolf in despair!÷
˘I almost had you!÷ cried the fox. And the gingerbread man started to run away.
After a while he stopped to dry off from his swim. Then he ran onto a path with jellybeans on it. When he saw the jellybeans he started eating them. He followed the trail of jellybeans until he came before a house made of candy.
He walked in the open door and followed a staircase down into a basement. He looked around the basement and saw shelves full of magic potions, trunks full of magic hexes, and bookcases with books of magic and potions. He wanted to look into one of the more exquisite trunks that he saw in the corner.
He was heading over to look in it when he tripped over a cauldron and hit a shelf full of potions and knocked them over. One broke beside him and spilled on him. He looked at the name of the potion and saw that it said X-tra Large.
He didnĂt want to knock anything else over so he went back up the stairs. When he was about to go out the door he realized that he couldnĂt fit under the door anymore. In fact, he could almost reach the doorknob, which was about three feet off the ground.
He waited about a minute and then tried to reach the doorknob again. This time when he tried he could reach it. He opened the door and went outside.
He didnĂt know where to go so he went back to the stream. By the time he was half way back to the stream he could touch the lower branches of the trees. And by the time he was to the stream, he could touch the top of the trees.
This time he didnĂt need help to cross the stream. He just jumped across. He started to run back to the pigsĂ house to see what happened to the wolf and to see if he was still hungry.
But by the time he got back to their house he was hungry. But then the gingerbread man realized something. ˘I can see the three little pigs house from here! IĂm taller than the trees!÷ In his alarm he started running faster.
In less than three seconds he was at the house. The moment he arrived at their house, the wolf flew out of the chimney and into the gingerbread manĂs mouth.
˘Yum!÷ exclaimed the gingerbread man, ÷But still I am not full. I am still hungry. I want more.÷ And then the gingerbread man spied the three little pigs in the garden playing. And since he was hungry, he picked them up and ate them one by one.
˘Stop!÷ screamed the pigs in horror.
˘GulpÓmmmmm! That was good! But IĂm still hungry.÷
So the gingerbread man continued to the finish line of the race between the tortoise and the hare.
By the time he got there he had stopped growing but he was as tall as a three-story house. When the tortoise crossed the finish line, the gingerbread man picked him up and ate him.
And then he went in search of the hare. He had been walking for a while when he saw the rabbit come running over a hill. And he picked him up and ate him. ˘That was good, but IĂm still hungry. Maybe IĂll get thirds.÷
So he went to the butcherĂs shop. When he got there he saw the butcher outside sweeping up outside.
The butcher looked up at the gingerbread man amazed. ˘Wow! How did you get so big?÷ he asked.
But the gingerbread man didnĂt waste time on greetings. He just picked up the butcher and swallowed him whole. ˘That was delicious. But IĂm still not satisfied.÷
So he headed to the house of the old woman and the little old man. When he got to the fields he saw the little old man working. He picked him up and devoured him before he had a chance to do or say anything.
And he continued to the house. While on his way he thought, ÷I am lonely. Everyone wants to eat me and no one wants to be my friend. Maybe before I eat the old woman, IĂll force her to make a gingerbread woman.÷
So he continued on his way. When he got there he picked up the house and looked through a window.
˘Hey you, in there, make me a gingerbread woman!÷
˘Okay, okay I will. Just donĂt hurt me!÷ cried the old woman.
So she set to work. First she shaped the dough into a body. Then she made the legs, and then the legs. She used raisins for the eyes, frosting for the eyes, three gumdrops for buttons, Twizzlers for hair, and icing for her dress.
When she was finished with this she popped it into the oven. When she was done she opened the oven door and out ran the gingerbread woman.
When she saw the gingerbread man her eyes lit up. It was love at first sight.
She grabbed onto one of his gumdrop buttons that still had some potion on it and she started turning into a giant. Because the gingerbread man had no more use for the old woman he put down the house and ate the old woman.
Then he started walking toward the mountains where he would make his house in solitude with the gingerbread woman hanging on to his gumdrop button.
By the time they got to the low hills she was as big as the gingerbread man.
When they reached the mountains they found the perfect valley to make their home in and they started working. Three months later they were finished and they settled in.
A few years later there was a gingerbread boy and a gingerbread girl and they all lived happily ever after, except for the sibling fights between the kids.