''Hansel & Gretel: The Real Bad Guys''
By: Teddy L.
New Jersey, Age 12
Hello reader. My name is Tracy Elf. I bet that does not ring a bell with you, though, does it? Well what about this ű the witch who tried to eat Hansel and Gretel? But to tell you the truth, I am not a witch at all, and I did not try to eat Hansel and Gretel. I am actually an elf, appointed by Saint Nicolas to spread good cheer between Christmases.
So I made a candy house to attract people from all over the world. And for just over four thousand years, I constantly made goodies and miracle powder (a powder that causes miracles) for the benefit of many. I, Tracy Elf, have worked from the time of the mysterious Ancient Egyptians, to the powerful Greeks and Romans, to the jolly old Englishmen.
But one day two parents sent their daughter and son, Hansel and Gretel, with a basket full of bread for their grandmother through the forest. (I know because I saw them coming through my elfin crystal ball). But instead of maturely taking the bread to their grandmother, they had a barbaric food fight that left a trail of crumbs, which the birds later ate.
When their food fight ended, they stumbled upon my candy house. But instead of walking away, or knocking at the door, Hansel and Gretel started to wolfishly chew at it. I quickly opened the door, and calmly stopped them. I decided to refill their empty basket with goodies for their grandmother, but they just ate them. Then they ran into my house and found my hidden, secret stash of chocolate chip cookies made for everyone. They kept them all for themselves!
After days of freeloading, they completely devoured the ten thousand cookies in my stash and became bigger than even Santa himself. Since they had eaten all of my cookies, I was forced make more. But being so greedy and ignorant, they climbed into the burning oven and ate the cookies before they were baked. ThatĂs when their father burst into the house. Seeing his beefed-up children in a lit oven and a magical creature with a broom (I was using a broom to clean Hansel and GretelĂs cookie crumbs), what else was he to suspect other than a witch trying to eat his children? So he promptly ˘rescued÷ his children from the oven and chucked me in it like a sack of coal.
I was soon rescued by other elves from the North Pole after that. When I told old Saint Nicolas about what happened, he supposed I really did try to eat Hansel and Gretel. He sentenced me to one thousand years in RCFTAME (Rehabilitation Center for Twisted and Mad Elves). So there! I was framed. Bummer.
But of course, I wasnĂt the only one framed. Hansel and Gretel spread their evil to the four corners of the Earth. And so, one-by-one, elf-by-elf, we all ended up in RCFTAME. Soon Saint Nicolas died of depression because he had no one to help him spread cheer. Some elves also died of depression. Most died of ˘boredomitis,÷ so now I am the only one left.
So if youĂre wondering why Santa Claus never takes flight on Christmas Eve anymore I thought IĂd just let you know it is the fault of Hansel and Gretel: ˘THE REAL BAD GUYS.÷