Read Student Writing
Back to Author's comments

The Mystery of the Stolen Hockey Card

By: Ankur J.
Michigan, Age 10

Hi my name is Ankur. I am the detective in this mystery. I am not that tall, I have black hair, and I have brown eyes. Guess what? Someone stole my Red Wings card. It was autographed by Steve Yzerman too. It could have been anyone like Sachin, Brian, or even Akash because they are all still at my house. They have been here for a week and they are staying for another two weeks.

Then I went to my family room which had two black sofas and a gray carpet and while everyone was watching TV I said, 'Hey you guys my card is missing.'

'The one Steve Yzerman autographed!' Sachin shouted.

'I'd better find out who stole it,' I murmured. It was right here and it's not here anymore. Why would anybody steal it?

A reason Brian would have stolen it is because he is funny but sometimes he gets outrageous and he does stupid things. One reason Sachin would have taken it is because he loves the Red Wings even more than me. He would like it even more if it was signed by the player. Akash would have stolen it because he gets jealous when I get something new but he is nice most of the time. My sister wouldn't have because she is very chubby, and why would she want a hockey card. Then I looked at where my card was and I saw Sachin's pencil right next to where I put my card.
Then my sister said, 'But Sachin was with me the whole time.'

'That means Sachin checks out,' I thought to myself.

But where were Akash and Brian when you guys were watching TV?

'I don't know,' Nikki said.

'Now it will be easier to find out who stole it because Sachin checks out,'I said.
Who did it, Brian or Akash? Wait a minute, I saw Akash playing Nintendo 64 after I came out of the shower. It was Brian. I knew it!

Then Brian came up to me and said,' Hey Ankur guess what I took your card.' Look it's right here.

'Why did you take it,' I asked.

'It was just a joke,' Brian shouted.

'I am glad it was only a joke,' I told him.

Well Brian and I became friends again and soon I forgot about that incident.


The End

 

Author's comments

Ankur J., I like the way you used the process of elimination to find the thief in your story. That's a technique writers sometimes enjoy using -- eliminating the suspects one by one until only the guilty party is left.

I'm impressed by the many good stories the students at Detroit Day School have sent in. Your teacher deserves a big compliment for teaching you so effectively about characterization, description, and plotting. And all of you can be complimented, too, for doing such a good job of following your teacher's excellent advice.