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Where's My Doll?

By: Amanda W.
Michigan, Age 9

One stormy night a new girl moved into town. It was the same night her house got robbed. Her friends Jessica, Bethany and JC and she were spending the night at JC's house. When suddenly the news came on and they said, 'He's struck again at the new family's house. He just stole a doll. It looks like this.' He showed her favorite doll. She said that all of their riches were in there and that she was going to find them. We tried to stop her but she had made up her mind. The search was on. We all went, just to be safe.

In about two minutes, we stopped. Bethany had found something. It was black hair, not much but still a good clue. Still later on, we found her doll with nothing in it so we kept searching. Longer and longer we went. CRASH! went some thunder. This was creepy. Everyone agreed.

Finally we came to a cave but the footsteps went the other way! We decided to go in the cave and spend the night. Suddenly, we heard a big boom! We all jumped. Jessica and JC wanted to go back, but we agreed to stick together. We decided to go deeper in the cave. That is what we did. Farther and farther we went. Finally we stopped ! Another clue. A gem, then a coin, then still another gem. Oh boy, what a treat! We have almost solved the mystery! He's in the cave! Wait! It's a she, only girls are that smart. We made a net and caught her. They got their riches back and we solved the mystery.



The End

 

Author's comments

Amanda W., your characters had a mystery to solve and set about solving it. This pattern is the basis of any good mystery. However, your story has to give us some of the details we need in order to follow the mystery without confusion. These details are easy and involve mostly description.

What is the new family's name? If the daughter in the family is a friend, then let us see her and know a little about what she's like.

What is the name of the thief? Who is the thief? All we know is that the thief is female. How does her life connect with the life of the doll's owner?

Fill in the details in your story and you'll soon see what a good story you have written.