Read Student Writing
Return to Grade 9

Struggling

By Abby R.
Grade 9, Indiana

They say there's something to live for
But can you live in half? In two?
No. Not with a heart that's torn.

Shattering. Crumbling.

Life is nothing without him.
I can't stop my love.
I don't think I want to.

Breaking. Shredding.

I can't remember when I was happy.
Was there ever a time?
No. I can't remember now.

Falling. Fading.

You're more monster than human
more haze than face.
The pain is the only sure thing now.

Slipping. Sliding.

My life is winter
the same as in your heart of ice
Your heart of stone.

Burning. Writhing.

And wouldn't that be a blessing?
To have a hardened heart
to be alone.

Fearing. Hiding.

Wouldnít it be a blessing to be alone?
To have never met?
To be whole?

Searing. Screaming.

I havenít touched the knife in a while
but Iím on itís edge.
Iím alone. So alone.

Breaking. Cutting.



Relief. Release.

The blood. The tears. The salt.
Are you happy?
Are you grinning your endearing, demonís smile?

Memories. Fleeing.

The knife hits the floor as I run out the door.
The sun. The wind.
Itís real. Too real.

Life. Death.

Life is Death without you.
But I can still bleed.
Why am I here?

Chatter. Noise.

They canít hear me
no teachers, no friends
no emotion

The door. The darkness.

Iím back to the darkness. Blood on the floor.
The need to Bleach is back
to wipe the stain away.

White. New.

Why canít someone help me?
Why canít he wash you away?
Wash me away?

Pain. Sorrow.

Oh God, please. Iím on my knees.
Humbled by Your strength.
And humbled by his.

Hope. Light.

You are my last resort
my only hope.
This is a truly twisted world.

Shedding. Remembering.

God, take him away.
I need You.
I donít need him.

Emptiness. Healing.

Wipe me clean, Lord.
Wash him away.
Let me start new.

Fresh. Clean.

And the demon was gone.
Banished.
A new light for my life.